


A Broken Jar

by ayatos



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Coming of Age, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-16 08:45:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3481796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayatos/pseuds/ayatos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Protect (v). keep safe from harm or injury. </p><p>Despite the dissatisfaction he has with his sister's way of life he still desires to keep her safe. It was his father's wish after all and even with his dislike of his father he'd honor that wish. And so when offered a position in a ghoul organization offering to eliminate the CCG how could he say no?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Run Like Hell

He was running, always running. His feet pounding the pavement to the beat of his heart. A constant thumping sound that made him feel semi at ease as he tore through the crowded streets of Tokyo. He could hear the shouts of investigators behind him forcing him to run faster. They had found him killing and now they we’re on his trail. He hadn’t eaten in a while and they interrupted his meal. Saliva boiled over his lips as the hunger began to tear at his stomach. His body needing that flesh to curb the pain. But with the investigators on his trail all he could do was run. 

Slowly their words began to fade in volume and intensity. Ayato picked his pace up knowing this was his chance to lose them. His lungs burned and his legs wanted to collapse but instinct and adrenaline swirled through his veins pushing him forward.

I will not die here. 

And he repeated those words like a mantra in his head as he pounded his feet into the pavement with all he had. Finally he no longer heard their words and he turned into an alleyway. His legs fell under him before he could even think of sitting. He crashed onto the ground and gasped for air to refill his expended lungs. Tears brim his eyes as he thought of Touka. Why was she always on his mind? It seemed no matter what he did, how far he ran, how many lives he took she crossed his troubled thoughts.

"Damn it!" He shouted to the air. It had been a few weeks since he left her and all he’s done was run a rampage through the town. He had carved a bloody mess with all his reckless kills. 

He’s ripped from his thoughts by the enticing smell of flesh. He stood despite the exhaustion and pain and suddenly he’s running once more. The smell of flesh pulling him like a fish on a reel. He rounded a corner to see a man walking down the alley way. He was a troublesome looking man, big and with the eyes of someone who prayed on the weak. He must’ve seen Ayato and he smirked.

"Hello there little boy, wanna play?" He taunted in grotesque voice that sends Ayato’s nerves off the edge. 

"Yea I do." Ayato said coldly. He lunged for the throat first, sinking his teeth into the artery there and ripping it apart in a bloody mess. The taste of the man filled his mouth and he felt a high coming over him. But he couldn't just let one bit be all and let the man go. He tore more through the flesh of the neck making sure to kill the man.

The body fell with Ayato still latched on like leech. He was too lost in his blood lust to care for the body falling. He ripped through tissue and skin, swallowed everything in sight. Blood dripped down his mouth and he wiped it with his sleeve. 

Next he ripped apart the man’s abdomen spilling the contents for his pleasure. He relished in the gore in front of him. Laughter bubbled up as he continued to feast giddily on the large man.

"I don't need Touka! Ha! Look at this man I took down on my own!" He cheered. He gorged himself on the beast of the man he killed. Too consumed in his feast he didn't hear the footsteps of the other ghoul approaching. 

"You took him down by yourself?" A voice came from behind. Ayato jumped instantly and his kagune released a second later. 

"Who the fuck are you?" He growled ready to attack.

"Put your kagune away I don’t want to fight. Actually I’ve been monitoring your rampage through this town." The masked man said. He was eyeing Ayato with a clinical gaze, as if Ayato were a rat in a lab. "To be quick and to the point I’m apart of a ghoul organization that wants to wipe out the CCG and we would want to consider you an asset, may I ask your name?"

"K-Kirishima Ayato…"

"Well Kirishima-"

"Wait what’s your name?" Ayato interrupted. 

"Tatara, may I continue?"

"Mhm." 

"As I was saying I’m part of a ghoul organization that wants to overthrow the CCG and prove humans are weaker in comparison to ghouls, we’ve been watching you and we want you."

"Want me?" Ayato questioned warily. Though the words this man were saying intrigued him he was a bit skeptical. An organization to wipe out the swine of the earth? However if the CCG was gone then Touka could live her life without fear. His young mind only had a few things it cared about; survival and protection. This organization would provide himself with a means of survival and the ability to protect Touka by wiping out the people who hunted her. 

"Yes."

"And, and will we eliminate the CCG?"

"That’s the idea." He returned. The words of his father resonate in his ear, protect Touka. If Ayato joined this organization he could wipe out the problem he had, he could return to his sister. 

"I want to join." He said with a nod of his head. 

"That’s what I was hoping to hear, now follow me to Aogiri Tree headquarters." Tatara said before turning and walking away. 

Aogiri Tree Ayato mused in his head as he follows the older ghoul out of the alleyway he was feasting in. Little did he know joining this organization wasn’t going to be as simple as killing a few humans and then returning to his sister. But he was young and naive and Aogiri beamed like a safe haven in his terror filled mind. And so he followed the older ghoul who in his mind was his savior. Tatara huh he thought with a small smile forming on his lips. He could tell this ghoul was strong as he was no idiot, and hopefully under him he too could be that strong.


	2. Ambivalent Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His first impression of Aogiri is that it's not the place he'd imagined when he was giving this pipe dream, however he won't let his disappoint cause him to leave just yet.

The wind whistled around Ayato as they walked down a seemingly empty street. He had no idea where this headquarters was located. It seemed naive of him to follow a stranger to a location he wasn't informed of ahead of time. But the shining light of what he was promised lead him like a pipe dream. He kept his pace a few feet back not wanting to be too close to the elder in case he decided to turn on him. Though he's sure this man could kill him no matter how much distance Ayato put between them. 

Ayato's eyes wandered over the male's body with awe. This man was everything Ayato dreamed of being in the future. He could sense the power rolling off of him in waves. Ayato felt like he was meeting his child hood superhero as he walked behind that man who called himself Tatara. 

Ayato's lips opened to speak but he shut them again fearing the other's reactions to him. But curiosity bit at his mind wanting him to ask the question that was tugging at his mind. 

"Tatara-san?" He asked in a hushed and timid voice.

"Mhm?" The elder replied. 

"Is, is Aogiri set up like a hierarchy?" 

"Yeah."

"And..and are you high up?" Ayato said and he felt as if each answer he was given pulled him a few inches closer to the elder. 

"Yes, I'm a direct subordinate of our leader." He said. Ayato furrowed his eyebrows at the explanation. 

"So like a vice president?" He asked taking another step to close the gap between the two of them.

"If you want to make it simple like that yes." He said simply. Ayato nodded and realized he was now walking side by side next to the older ghoul. He kept glancing him over trying to measure his strength. But whatever power this man harbored the concept of gauging it seemed ineffable in Ayato's young mind. But it didn't detour him from still wanting to figure out just how powerful this man was. 

The street they had been walking on came to a dead end. At the end of the street was what appeared to be an abandoned apartment complex. He could hear the hum of activity booming inside of the place despite the atmosphere of desolate emptiness. It was an odd mix to hear the sounds coming from the empty building. 

"You coming?" Tatara called. Ayato realized he had been standing still gawking at the place. Ayato jolted himself out of his thoughts and he walked to catch up with the older ghoul. They approached the building and Ayato hears more sounds, distinct sounds. People screaming, brawling, cries for help or mercy. He can feel the violent aura weigh heavy on him as he gets closer to the headquarters. He felt a little scared as the drowning feeling of violence and cruelty began to set into his bones. 

Tatara pulled the door open and the cries halted for a moment. Many bowed or saluted him. Ayato watched the quick way they respected the elder and he felt an envy brew in him. He wanted that respect. 

"So Tatara." Came an awfully grating voice from the shadows. A large man stepped into the light grinning wickedly. Ayato stepped back a step feeling this man's power smack him in the face unlike Tatara's slow rolling feeling of strength. "Brought a little boy home for us?"

"He's not food and especially not a toy." Tatara replied coldly. Ayato eyed the other ghouls who were looking at him with desire. 

"Oh come on Tatara." The other joked. "Kid's gotta learn to fight for himself."

"I said no. I've seen his power and I'd rather not wreck what raw strength he has for your sick games. I want to cultivate it." Tatara growled in annoyance. Ayato felt the hostility between the two, but the other ghoul seemed to know his boundaries. He was only pushing buttons to annoy Tatara but he must know the difference in their strength. 

"Not even one bit?" The other asked and his beady eyes laid their gaze on Ayato. A shiver of fear ran down Ayato's spine as the man stared at him. Ayato mustered up his courage and stared back at the older ghoul. "He's quiet small don't you think?"

"No and that's final, you may get a chance to fight him in the future if it really suits your desires." He told him.

"Fine fine Tatara." The other said waving his hands in defeat. Tatara grunted in agitation as he watched the other ghoul disappear back into the shadows.

"Kirishima follow me." Tatara said turning away. Ayato followed him down a hallway.

"Who was that?"

"Yamori, or Jason as he goes by more frequently." Tatara replied. "He's an executive here."

"Executive?" Ayato questioned.

"Yes, they're below me in rank but they still have power over their own subordinates. We have three, you've just met one." 

"Oh, I see." Ayato said as he followed the other further into the darkness. They walked for a bit before reaching a room. The room was small and had a line of bunks like a dormitory. Ayato bite his lip nervously as he looked around at some of the aggressive looking men who eyed him like he was bait. He didn’t falter though, he’d hold his own here and he wouldn’t let them get to him.

“Welcome to your new home Kirishima.” Tatara said before exiting.

“Wait!”

“Yes?”

“What...will I be doing here?” He asked unsure of his duties.

“I have to discuss this with the other executives.” Tatara said before leaving. Ayato nodded and walked to the empty bunk once more ignoring the looks he was given. He sat down and let out the breath he’s been holding since he entered the place. Exhaustion started to weigh on him and he figured it was from his escape from the CCG earlier. I could sleep just a bit he thinks before lying down on the creaky bunk. His eyes shutting and sleep washing over him.


	3. My Dreams, They Haunt Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haunted by the thoughts of his sister and his desire to protect her leaves Ayato with constant nightmares of her death and his failure to protect her.

His eyes were shut and he felt sleep take over. His mind began to drift into unconsciousness. He hated sleeping because it always presented him with nightmares. But he couldn’t not sleep forever. And so he let his mind wander into whatever Hell his thoughts would produce.

\--

“Ayato!” Touka called from the edge of the forest. He made his way over to where she was kneeling and eyeing some worms. Immediately he vaulted backwards and made a squeak like sound.

“W-What is your fascination with those things?” He questioned, disgust evident in his voice.

“Whats with your fear of them?” She returned with a smirk that mocked his look of disgust. She shrugged and turned back to face the crawling worms. “They’re cool I guess.”

“Real cool...” He muttered. He stayed in the distance until Touka decided it was okay to go. She stood and gestured for him to follow her, he obeyed. As they walked an odd ominous feeling began to wash over him, almost as if a fog was rolling in. He brushed it off and kept walking behind his sister. Until they reached the edge of a city, why was this city so close to the forest? That feeling began to strengthen and he started to feel his skin crawl.

“T-Touka..?”

“Mhm.”

“I think we should go somewhere else.” He said. The feeling of danger was present everywhere he looked. It was in the face of the people who looked at them and the way they stopped talked as they walked past them. She laughed at his statement as if he was suggesting something entirely ridiculous. 

“Why?” She asked turning around and smiling, the sun glowed around her face and he felt peaceful for a moment. 

“Uh never mind.” He said feeling as if he was just worrying too much. She turned and began to walk again. That nagging feeling wouldn't stop no matter how bright the sun shone or how loud his sister laughed. His stomach began to turn when a human stopped them. The eyes were cold, almost dead and his expression was that of a doll in a horror movie. 

“Hey kids...” His voice trailed off. The tension in Ayato's body increased at an exponential rate. A cloud passed over the sun darkening the afternoon. The busy street froze and silence embedded itself in the scene. Ayato was frozen stiff, his limbs immobile. Then full darkness hit him and he felt paralyzed. Silence rung in his ears and unnerved him. It was too quiet, nothing but his own breathing made a sound. 

Then the sound of his sister screaming ripped through the inky darkness and shook him to the core. He tried to reach out in the direction of the scream but his arms were stone like, entirely useless to help her. More screams, and even worse; the sound of flesh tearing and bones breaking. Crunch, crunch crunch echoed in his ears, mingled with her screams it made him queasy.

“Touka!” He shouted desperation dripping from his cry . Nothing, the screams continuing relentlessly with what seemed like no end. He screamed and screamed as his worst incubus began to form in front of him. He couldn't bear the sounds of her crying out in agony. His stomach turned and he wanted to fall to the ground but he was standing still. Frozen and helpless to fight whatever was hurting her. He felt the feeling of utter uselessness set into his skin, pump through his veins, and crack his bones. Absolute devastation numbed his body. 

The darkness finally began to ebb and the scene in front of him made his blood run cold and his face freeze in shock. Touka was laying in pieces covered in her own blood. Her face frozen in a look of pure terror, lips parted in a scream. His bones trembled and he thought they’d break from the sheer force of his body shaking. A hand clamped onto his shoulder and he wanted to fight but all his strength was taken from him. 

“It’s your fault you know.” It cooed. 

“W..What?” He asked.

“This. Her. The blood and death, all on you Ayato.” 

“..Why?”

“Because your weak.”

“I know.”

“You couldn’t protect one damn thing.”

“I-I know.” His voice cracked. He knew very well he was weak and he couldn't protect anything. He didn’t need this eerie voice whispering these nothings into his ear. He weak, terribly so and it was plastered in his dream. He couldn't save her, he couldn't protect her. 

"You're a failure. A weakling. How could your dad trust you to protect her? He was dead wrong. You can protect nothing, you're useless."

"I know!" He shouted back. His anger taking over the empty feeling of devastation. He was a useless and worthless brother if he couldn't even save her in his dreams. Couldn't. Couldn’t. Couldn’t. Fucking could not. That’s all that ran through his mind as he stared at her body. Tears burned his eyes and he finally collapsed to the ground. He screamed her name over and over. Pounded his fist into the bloody pavement. Why was he so weak, why couldn’t he do anything. 

“I’m sorry Touka, I’m sorry, sorry, sorry.” He cried after a few moments of heavy silence.

“The fuck you saying kid?” Came a voice that ripped Ayato from his dreams. He bolted up in bed, his body soaked in a cold sweat. His eyes focused on the bunks of Aogiri and the face of a unfamiliar older ghoul looking at him as if he had two heads. He rubbed his groggy eyes with one hand.

“H-Huh?” He asked.

“You were whispering some girls name and the word sorry. You also said a weak a few times.” The older ghoul informed him. 

“Shit, uh yea nightmare.”

“Who’s Touka? Youre too young to have a girlfriend. Is she a sister? Mom? Friend?” He pried 

“Fuck off, it’s none of your business.” Ayato growled. 

“Testy.”

“Shut the fuck up.” 

He looked around the room and saw that no one else was left. Where had they gone. He looked at the other ghoul, the question on his face.

“Training, or free time to fight each other and prove who’s manlier.” The ghoul said. Ayato nodded and climbed out of bed. He’d just follow the sound of fighting and find the others. “Don’t get hurt kid.”

“Shut up.” Ayato returned before leaving the dorm.


End file.
